The internet is chock-full of resources for broken hearts: how to heal; forgive others and move on. But there are no resources for the ultimate cure for an aching heart: not falling in love in the first place.
Instead of letting our emotions run amok, we can practice abstaining from love and never have to endure the inevitable hurt that comes along with it. Let’s live our #BestLives through a series of short and simple hookups and never have to worry about hurting or disappointing anyone ever again.
Abstaining from love is a win-win. You can still get ‘yours’ without catching feelings or ever feeling stupid.
Here’s a 12-step method to ensure you never fall in love again. Enjoy friends!
Step 1:
Simply open up your phone and download Tinder or another hookup app of choice. If you see someone you find attractive, swipe ‘no’ immediately. If you come across someone who’s not your type or just downright ugly — BINGO, swipe ‘yes’.
Don’t wait to go meet in-person. When they greet you, I like to cut right to the chase. My favourite first line is:
“Small talk isn’t really my thing. Wanna meet up?”
